Coping.
Watching speeches at a recent wedding, probably crying!
Last week a friend told me they’re finding things really hard at the moment, especially when it comes to running their business. It really resonated with me. Recent weeks have been tough and while we don’t profess to have it together, we’ve worked hard to put in place coping strategies and tools that have helped us personally and professionally get through this last 18 months. Perhaps today we can provide a shortcut to improve your work life or home life.
From the outside, it may look like Wiskow & White are smashing it. We’re dealing with postponements and cancellations constantly, supporting 3 years of couples. We’ve sold out ‘22 and almost ’23. We’re delivering weddings, growing our team, creating new products – it all looks pretty rosey. But the reality is that everyday we’re managing fear of uncertainty, lots of hard work, some very tough decisions and lots and lots of learning and growing.
Things we’ve found particularly hard in the last 18 months -
· Financial uncertainty – when a low percentage of your income is 100% guaranteed it’s very hard to plan for the future and frankly, feel safe
· Lack of control – as a planner, this is extremely hard! You plan things, and they tend to happen
· Not knowing when you’ll get to do what you love again – our job has become admin heavy, emotionally heavy and not really the job we used to have
· Supporting many other people, and taking on their emotions as empaths
· Increased workload, much of which is brand new
We’ve got through it. And we will continue to get through it by constantly learning and adapting, week to week and even day to day. Here’s how:
Our absolute number one rule – trust yourself. You are fab and you know your business. The moment you start to doubt your abilities to do your job, or to ‘handle this’, it’s going to become even more challenging. Find examples of when you’ve been in tough positions before, or made hard decisions that have paid off. Keep these close and read them on your hard days or when you’re faced with a new challenge or tough decision.
Communicate honestly. I don’t think it’s possible to over communicate, unless it’s wasting your time…Having clients, suppliers, your team or colleagues know what’s going on and managing everyone’s expectations is key. And while you’re here, give yourself and others grace. Made a mistake? It happens. Had a tough day, have a nap, go for a walk – step away from the computer. More than ever, we don’t know what challenges others are facing so heading in to each conversation with grace for others is paramount and again ultimately much more likely to get you’re the outcome you’re looking for.
Surrender to it all. It’s hard, it’s unfair, it’s a lot. That’s all real and it’s all OK. The more you try and resist what’s happening that harder it will be. Every day I start the day with 5 mins focusing on letting go while I listen to a song that I love. It helps me release all my expectations of the day and be able to go with the flow. This is something I find particularly hard!
Work hard, but not at the expense of your health or relationships. When everyday it feels like you’re trying to save your business (the things that pays for your family’s food and clothing!), it can feel like an absolute tonne of pressure. The temptation is to work all of the time. I find the more I work, the more I work. But that’s not an option – for my own health as I have a couple of life-long diseases and I’m a mum. So my time really isn’t just my time!
Have a clear vision. We know inside out who we’re serving and why we’re doing our job. This keeps us focused and motivated and it’s something to come back to when we have tough decisions to make. And from here, make sure you set clear priorities and focus. It’s not easy when every week feels overwhelming buy by picking 3 top priorities each month / week it helps focus back in again, when things feel overwhelming.
Create consistency + boundaries. This makes sure your business drives on, and you drive on. It’s likely that without you, it can’t. Make sure you get the other bits of life. For me my work boundaries are having clear working days and hours, certain times for client calls and being as efficient as I can with my time. In my working blocks I give 100% - I have a clear prioritised to do list and I give it my all.
My other priorities include family time, nutrition, exercise, connection and alone time. If lacking these, I’m not going to do the best job I can for my clients.
When facing particularly hard decisions, or it really all is too much. Get help. A business coach, a mentor, even outsourcing. I’ve made tough financial decisions to do all of these things in the last 18 months and they are paying off. It’s a risk when business is uncertain but trust yourself and your vision and believe in the future of your business.
It’s not been an easy road and I’m very much still learning, creating new habits and constantly fighting the narrative inside ‘work all the time vs. chill out a bit’. But this isn’t going away. There will be more twists and turns and the best we can do is get the support in place form yourself, your coping mechanisms and others, to deal with the rest of this marathon. Taking time to set these up and work on them is priceless.